After Hi. — The Research Behind the Doors

Sources.

Every "You Are Not the Only One" box in After Hi. rests on published research. Here is the full list, with links, organized the way the book uses it. If a link moves, the citation is enough to find the original.

The Backdrop

U.S. Surgeon General. Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2023.

hhs.gov — the advisory

American Time Use Survey analyses of time alone and declining in-person socializing, U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics data.

bls.gov/tus

Cox, Daniel A. The State of American Friendship: Change, Challenges, and Loss. Survey Center on American Life, 2021 — the "friendship recession."

americansurveycenter.org
The First Door — The Widower

Freak-Poli, R., et al. Longitudinal research on loneliness and social isolation after spousal death. Monash University; Archives of Gerontology and Geriatrics.

lens.monash.edu — coverage  ·  sciencedirect.com — study

Systematic review of loneliness and social isolation in widowhood (26 longitudinal studies).

pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Dykstra, P. A., and J. de Jong Gierveld — network change and drift from partner-sustained ties after bereavement.

The Second Door — The Divorce

Greif, Geoffrey L., and Kathleen Holtz Deal. Two Plus Two: Couples and Their Couple Friendships. Routledge, 2012; and the Journal of Divorce & Remarriage.

psychologytoday.com — the author's summary

Crowley, Jocelyn Elise. Gray Divorce. University of California Press, 2018. With Cooney & Dunne (2001) and Kalmijn (2015) on men's post-divorce network losses.

The Third Door — The Military Family

InDependent, with the Institute for Military and Veteran Family Wellness, University of Texas at Austin. Military Spouse Wellness Survey, 2025.

airandspaceforces.com — coverage

"Military-Related Relocation Stress and Psychological Distress in Military Partners." Journal of Family Psychology, 2022.

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36048073
The Fourth Door — The New City

Hall, Jeffrey A. "How Many Hours Does It Take to Make a Friend?" Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 36, no. 4 (2019).

journals.sagepub.com  ·  news.ku.edu — announcement

Dunbar, Robin I. M. — the layered structure of human social networks.

The Fifth Door — The Empty Nest

Role transitions after children leave home: systematic review. Communications Psychology (Nature Portfolio), 2024.

nature.com/articles/s44271-024-00156-8
The Other Doors

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention — social isolation among adults 65+.

cdc.gov

Peripheral ties and loneliness at retirement. Journals of Gerontology, Series B, 2025. With Fingerman ("consequential strangers") and Sandstrom & Dunn (2014) on weak ties and well-being.

One Parent Families Scotland & SPIRU. Loneliness and Single Parents, Briefing 2018/1; Scottish Household Survey, 2020.

opfs.org.uk

Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center — national survey on parental loneliness, 2024.

Composite characters in the book (Walter, Ray, Alicia, Camille, Loretta, and the rest) are illustrations of the system, not case studies or testimonials. The research above is what's real — and it says the same thing every time: you are not the only one.